my heart hurts.

Seriously.

My heart is breaking right now, for a mama I don't even know.

Her story absolutely shook me to the core, and I began crying uncontrollably, for quite a long time I might add. I just don't understand why some things happen. I have a hard time understanding why God can let something like this happen. Even though it isn't my child, and I have been so blessed. I can't help but get angry at God for the things that happen to other families. I do believe that God has a plan. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but this is just one of those areas I have a hard time accepting. I pray every day I never have to know anything more about it than what I read on paper. I cannot imagine being a woman who has to bury her child. The thought of it alone is more than I can even handle. As weak as those women must feel, I am astonished by their strength.

Obviously I love my child beyond words. But there are days, yes, that she drives me crazy! Sometimes to the point of tears. But I love her SO incredibly much, and I couldn't imagine one second of my life without that precious little blonde haired, brown eyed girl. I am still amazed by the love I feel for her. As soon as I became a mother, for the first time I was truly able to understand how much my parent's love me. And for anyone who doesn't have a child, it would be impossible to put into words how much your heart grows and can love someone else. It is absolutely an indescribable feeling.

But sometimes, I think I forget how incredibly blessed I am. How lucky I am to have such a healthy, happy little girl. I read stories, and hear about people who aren't so fortunate. Who have horrible things happen to their children, are unable to have a child of their own, or who every day deal with life threatening illnesses. My heart just aches for them, and I pray for those women, and try to understand. I feel that i'm given these reminders just so that I never take for granted the wonderful life i've been given. I really am so lucky to have such a perfect, healthy baby, and I never, ever, want to forget that.